|Posted on September 3 with 44,904 notes via david-tennants-little-fangirl||Reblog|
|Posted on September 1 with 10,266 notes via goodshipgoodwood||Reblog|
respect existence or expect resistance
|Posted on September 1 with 126,162 notes via goodshipgoodwood||Reblog|
|Posted on September 1 with 35,486 notes via david-tennants-little-fangirl||Reblog|
A batch of wonderful book dedications.
|Posted on August 17 with 34,243 notes via thesansasnark||Reblog|
Earlier today, I served as the “young woman’s voice” in a panel of local experts at a Girl Scouts speaking event. One question for the panel was something to the effect of, "Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"
I was surprised when the first panelist answered the question as if it were about cyberbullying. The adult audience nodded sagely as she spoke about the importance of protecting children online.
I reached for the microphone next. I said, “As far as reading your child’s texts or logging into their social media profiles, I would say 99.9% of the time, do not do that.”
Looks of total shock answered me. I actually saw heads jerk back in surprise. Even some of my fellow panelists blinked.
Everyone stared as I explained that going behind a child’s back in such a way severs the bond of trust with the parent. When I said, “This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything,” it was like I’d delivered a revelation.
It’s easy to talk about the disconnect between the old and the young, but I don’t think I’d ever been so slapped in the face by the reality of it. It was clear that for most of the parents I spoke to, the idea of such actions as a violation had never occurred to them at all.
It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people.
Apparently people are rediscovering this post somehow and I think that’s pretty cool! Having experienced similar violations of trust in my youth, this is an important issue to me, so I want to add my personal story:
Around age 13, I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me “not to joke about things like that.” I stopped telling my mother when I felt depressed.
Around age 15, I caught my mother reading my diary. She confessed that any time she saw me write in my diary, she would sneak into my room and read it, because I only wrote when I was upset. I stopped keeping a diary.
Around age 18, I had an emotional breakdown while on vacation because I didn’t want to go to college. I ended up seeing a therapist for - surprise surprise - depression.
Around age 21, I spoke on this panel with my mother in the audience, and afterwards I mentioned the diary incident to her with respect to this particular Q&A. Her eyes welled up, and she said, “You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?”
TL;DR: When you invade your child’s privacy, you communicate three things:
- You do not respect their rights as an individual.
- You do not trust them to navigate problems or seek help on their own.
- You probably haven’t been listening to them.
Information about almost every issue that you think you have to snoop for can probably be obtained by communicating with and listening to your child.
Part of me is really excited to see that the original post got 200 notes because holy crap 200 notes, and part of me is really saddened that something so negative has resonated with so many people.
the not listening thing is SO IMPORTANT. my parents threatened to take away my phone and computer to find out about my feelings because i “wouldn’t” talk to them about it. it took my therapist to convince them that i had been trying to tell them exactly what was happening but they just didn’t listen to me when i said it.
|Posted on August 17 with 58,137 notes via lizardvvizard||Reblog|
|Posted on August 14 with 16,212 notes via coooooooooooooorvo||Reblog|
lavender brown gets more hate for how she handles unrequited romantic feelings than snape does and i find that incredibly disturbing
Also Cho Chang gets more hate for crying and grieving over the death of her boyfriend, than Snape does for literally abusing and terrorizing children because he couldn’t have Lily Evans.
|Posted on August 13 with 65,456 notes via tehhufflepuffcompanion||Reblog|
|Posted on August 12 with 49,579 notes via the-tenth-will-see-you-now||Reblog|
|Posted on August 12 with 160 notes via fyeahroleplayingrabbit||Reblog|